Someone once told me , “Human beings are the most selfish of all“
Even when someone dies, you shed tears only because they are no more around to provide you with whatever they had been for so long.And I still ponder over this each night. What does that tell us about humans? Are they losing the sense of emotionalism. What I see is humans mourning for their loved ones as a formality and they have no time to think about the memories they had with them. Basically that’s an “ESCAPE FROM EMOTIONS”
But everyone is not the same. Emotions are alive within me. So in my case :It goes like this …
I used to think I couldn’t go a day without her smile. She was like a winter landscape and my definition of beauty. Her closeness to nature and God made me adore her even more. She was my Grandma ,My NANI !
There were days we played carrom and cards.Nobody could cheat on her. She loved singing,I could notice her humming whenever she was alone. I seriously had a great time with her. This lady was so sensitive that she almost cried at such silly things which were not even worth crying for. Because she was as innocent as a lamb, away from the current mind set of the world. My brother used to tease her and she laughed and reverted him with a bang at back.She gave us memories to be cherished and I still treasure them and keep them alive.
Then, that day arrived and it was so hard. And I knew with a sinking heart it was going to get worse and I wasn’t going to be okay for a very long time. Because losing someone isn’t an occasion or an event. It doesn’t just happen once. It happens over and over again. I still lose her every time , times when I see the carrom board, or the cards or the old pictures .I still wake up every morning and reach for the empty space across the bedsheets, I begin to lose her all over again.
But we manage our self and get strong. Because death is not something we could fight with. It has to come to everyone. People have to go and we have to let them leave us. That’s the stage of life ,probably the last one.